Superficial Pet Peeve

Me too! Although, i must say Joan Rivers, Martha and Hillary are looking pretty good and all are in their sixties.....HOT!!! My grandmother is in her sixties and dosen't like any of these people, but yet still more beatiful b/c she has never tried to stay the same looking, she has let age come as it pleases.  I'm not married, but one day i would want my wife to always look natural (dear God please, not 350 pounds worth of natural) but to remain beatiful with age.

Bax,

My wife asked me if I care that she doesn't color her hair to cover the grey.  I said, why should I?  You don't care that I don't cover Up my greay.  Yes, a few pounds, a little grey, a few wrinkles along with slower movement.  Joie de vive, I say.  JATFUR.

RichK

Guys,

I couldn't sit here and keep quiet about this thread. I tried but couldn't. It is obvious that you are of the male gender and have a different look at aging.

It's ok for a man to have gray hair. It makes them distingushed looking and more handsome. Not older.

It's ok for a man to have lines on the face. It makes them appear worldly and powerful.

A pot belly or beer belly if you will, is not even considered a problem in a man unless your observing from a physicans point of view.

I watched a show the other night on plastic surgery and saw a man getting butt check implants! That was incredible. That one is beyond me.

Now, if your a woman, and you have wrinkles, gray hair and/or are overweight, holy cow, get out of the way!

Rich -  your wife asked you if it was ok to go natural with her hair color. Why do you think she would ask you? Is it because she thought you liked her youthful dyed color?I bet she looks beautiful with whatever hair color she has. But it's interesting that she may have had the perception that she had to keep her gray covered. 

Fox - you state that you didn't want anyone 350 lbs of natural. Oh my gosh! That type of comment is why women are so pressured to look youthful and go beyond what nature has provided.

Most women look at men and see past the imperfections and fall for what's inside. If that weren't true, most men would be single due to the pot bellies and wrinkles.

Plastic surgery is not for everyone obviously. But for those who want to improve upon what they have, it should be acceptable. Of course, there are going to be the Prisilla Presleys who go over board and ruin they're natural beauty but for the most part most people just get the amount that makes them feel better about themselves.

Now I have a real question to ask you guys. Should women have tatoo's? What about piercing? I saw a story on the morning news where a women had to remove her nipple piercing with a pair of plyers at the airport because of the metal detector.

Tatoo's are acceptable for men but not women. Why? I can't wait to hear your replies.

Cookie;

I'll answer only a part of your question and will not dispute anything you said about appearance.

My mother raised a fool but it was my brother. 

Some tattoos look good, some look bad and some are just tattoos. That's on men or women. 

Mike Heemer

Mike,

Your momma didn't raise a fool! You obviously know when not to respond. Good boy!

Allow me to point out that so far we have 3 men talking about "women" and their vanity.  Bax you started out with PP as your subject but in referencing aging gracefully towards the end I saw no acknowledgement that this issue involves both genders. 

For years men as they age have been called distinguished, women "age gracefully" at times but mostly they just "get old".   Men leave their wives for much younger women all the time so much so that it is cliche'.  Even issues with weight, we're alot harder on a heavy woman then a heavy man. 

Insecurity plays out in all sorts of ways in people, also realize that with some it's not just about vanity but also a form of compulsion.  Humans have always been focused on beauty because in it's primitive form its about the procreation of the species, it just plays out in all sorts of ways. 

My point is that there are all sorts of things that contribute to why people put their bodies at risk with injecting and inserting foreign objects or substances in order to look better.  My mantra is that I'm not having my skin broken for any reason that is not medically necessary.  At the same time there are non invasive things I do not to keep me looking young, but to look the best I can for my age.  I wouldn't be 20 again if you paid me in millions.  For me personally, the years since turning 30 have been the best.  I may not like the physical signs of aging but I sure wouldn't trade superficial youth for the experience of my years.

You look at Priscilla and see a woman to be pitied and I see just the opposite.  With what has happened to her over the botched injections, knowing her face to some extent has been effected in a negative way and yet look where she is.  She's on a very popular and LIVE show taking a risk on many levels.  That is NOT insecurity.  She has been a fairly private woman since her marriage to Elvis ended except where she is representing his estate. She is a wonderful example of courage, which is grace under pressure. 

The scariest plastic surgery job I've ever seen was on Kenny Rogers.  I always thought he was a good looking man, like Sean Connery to me gets sexier as he ages.  I didn't even recognize him after his plastic surgery, it's like he has a whole new face that resembles nothing of his face as a younger man. 

Overall Plastic Surgery is a wondeful invention for those people who are disfigured and I doubt there is anyone out there who would dispute that because it's more pleasant to look at pretty then disfigured.  Some people as they get older really do have issues with appearing disfigured as well. Some have eyelids that will droop to the point where they cannot see out their eyeballs.  But, like any other thing in life, drugs, food, money, material possessions, there is always someone out there who can take something good and turn it into a negative by exploiting it. 

I think Priscilla has proven she is much more then just a pretty face.

Cookie,

I won't presume to know what goes on in the mind of my wife, or any other woman.  I don't need another pain in my eye.  But for years, I've kidded her by saying, "I think I see a gray hair."  We get a laugh or two.  My hair started getting grey before hers did.  I don't think she was looking for approval for keeping what she had naturally.  Rather, she might have just been confirming what she already knew.  Years ago, she had the opportunity to get a free boob job.  She asked my opinion.  Basically, I told her she was getting goofy in the head because she didn't need it, or the risk of surgery.

"Now, if you're a woman, and you have wrinkles, gray hair &/or are over weight, holy cow, get out of the way."  Interesting philosophy.  It says a few things, at least by my interpretation. 

1.  Primarily, that is the view of popular society.

2.  If a person, man or woman, changes their looks because of it, are they so insecure, so superficial, so slavish to what other people think, will they use this system in other aspects of their lives?  What does that say about the person?

I'm sure that if the same person would loose some weight for reasons of health or changed their hair color or got some botox for wrinkles because it was solely their own decision, there would be a # of people having a negative opinion @ that too.  So, in my humble opinion, when it comes to these subjective, personal choices, if it were me, the only opinion I would seek would be that of my godess.  Quite frankly, the opinion of the rest of the world does not count in these matters.

As far as tatoos are concerned, I've had the opportunity to get one before.  In all honesty, I'm a huge wuss where needles are concerned.  And that's all I have to say @ that.  JATFUR.

RichK

Cookie, Marsha,

I knew as I was writing the blog, women would react differently than men.  All of us is a little insecure in our appearance for a lot of different reasons.  No doubt, there is unfair and unusual pressure for womne to be young, and thin, and good looking no matter how old, how many kids, etc.  In fact, if you notice in the original post, there is no mention of gray hair because many/most/all? women with gray hair color it (my goddess included).  Personally - when I see a woman who lets her hair remain its natural color, I think she is very comfortable in her own skin.  Again, personally, that is attractive in itself.

I agree about Kenny Rogers - why??  Prisciall was gorgeous.  Drop dead gorgeous.  Now she's a Michael Jackson look alike.  I'm all for people using technology to stay young looking, but, sometimes the results seem to backfire.  Mother Nature is brutal no doubt, but don't kid yourself Priscilla/Kenny/Michael - you looked a helluva a lot better looking "older".

Tattoos - don't have any, don't want any.  My son has several, and I have to believe 10 +/- years from now he'll say "I wish I hadn't."  My son-in-law has several, and he already says it.  Cookie, you're right.  Seems more acceptable on men than women, but I personally don't care for them at all.  Some are beautiful, but I can't deal with the permanancy of them.  If I could wash it off, OK, but forever? I'll pass.  If people who have them don't think they are being judged, they are being naive.  I saw a guy the other day with tatoos (as in more than one) on his face.  I couldn't help but stare. I tried not to, but when you look at him, your eyes are just drawn to them.  Dude - what were you thinking???

I have a bias towards tattoos although I'm aware of it so that's half the battle.  I was raised in the rural midwest, tattoos were something that "a lady would not do".  Even when I joined the military which was also a little taboo still for a woman it didn't change my view. It's a falacy for sure, for five years I went through grief therapy after my first Husband died and my Therapist is a woman I admire beyond measure and she had a tattoo on her ankle.  Sometimes it's truly difficult to erase those "Parental Tapes" even when you know they're not right. 

I've known people living hand to mouth, can't keep their rent paid, can't keep the lights on, can't afford to fix their teeth yet their bodies are covered in expensive tattoos and they're getting a new one everytime I turn around. 

I don't even like them on men but it's easier to overlook on a man, especially a sailor who has mapped his travels on his body. 

Permanent makeup which many women do today is nothing more then a variation of the same thing yet it's not as noticeable unless it's a bad job. 

Marsha,

I disagree that a tattoo is unfemine although I know that is how the public pereives them. I myself am discribed as very ladylike and have several tattoos but they are well placed so that I can show them or not. Getting a tattoo is a personnal decision as is getting plastic surgery. I for one, recieved mine a statement about something going on in my life.

For some, it becomes an addictiion much like cosmetic surgery. It is unfortunate that those who choose to display tattoos are treated differently. There was a time when if you were in law enforcement that you could not have tattoos displayed on your arms. I believe that has changed somewhat.

For whatever reason, we choose do change our appearance, we should not be judged. If I could get away it, I would not hide mine. To each his or her, own.

Lastly, I too am a recipent of plastic surgery. Thankfully, mine wasn't botched. But I can see how you can become addicted to a quick fix. You always seem to see another wrinkle or line. I don't want to grow old gracefully. I'm going to go a kickin and screamin!

I got my 1st tat when I was 40... my second when I was a little older.. I want another one but I am waiting till the right picture present itself to me. Not to get one because of just wanting one. I think this kind of body art, is an addiction to some of us. May be the same with plastic surgery and piercings, I have had my ears pierced since I was 10. Got the second set of holes in high school and the 3rd set about 25. They cost was less but I was always losing earrings and having to buy more. With the tats one payment, a few sore days and thats it....

I didn't say that it was unfeminine, I said I was raised that way and also acknowledged I have known some very great Ladies who have them that renders that notion invalid.  I don't know about you but for good or bad there are things that play over and over in my memories from childhood when particular subjects come up. 

I was also raised to keep shoes on my feet but I'm barefoot every chance I get. 

I didn't even bring the subject of tattoos up, I was just conversing with the rest of you over them. 

It's just another experience of not judging a book by it's cover, whether it's tattoos or plastic surgery.  No one ever really knows the whole story behind such things. 

jimmaxie,

I know exactly what your talking about! You should go for it and treat yourself to another!

I plan on having one picked out by then...

Judgment is a very strong word.  Seriously, some of my very best friends in the world have tons of tattoos.  One guy is a really cool dragon with skulls and flames and claws tearing through his skin on his back.  I love it, and I really love that it is HIS back. 

The judgement I make is that they did something I would not do. They have made a permanent change to their body that I wouldn't.  Nothing more than that.  The more obvious the tattoo, the more I question the wisdom of the decision.  Tattoos on a person's face, in American culture, is just plain weird to me.  Even more so when they are things like swastikas, spiders, etc.  Call me a prude and repressed, but I just ain't down wid' it.

Tattoos are often very pretty, sexy, compelling.  I just can't deal with the permanent part.  I know that is part of the mystique, and on the right person, in the right place, with the right clothes, some tattoos are just plain HOT.  Just not forever.  But that's just me.