LET THE BOYS...BE THE BOYS!

For some reason male nature has always been attracted to violence and to continously having to prove their strenght and abilities. It's a "power" thing that has been cheered through the years by society and even by parents.

Males have to fit in a "pattern": they have to be strong, able to stand to adversity and above all, they have to "prove" that they are MEN. Not complying with this profile, it is taken as a sign of weakness and among other things it could make them a target of cruel jokes. Sometimes, it could even create a false reputation that will chase them for the rest of their life, unless of course, they can prove their manhood.

The rules have been set and the GO in life starts with the old saying: "Let the boys, be the boys".

But what exactly do we mean by that? Years ago, if there was a fight between two boys, the other kids would surround them and cheer them up. Once the fight was over, the boys had gain each others respect, and the confrontation was pretty much over. They have "proved" they could take it! Which was basically the main purpose of rolling on the dirt, throwing a couple of punches here and there, and at the same time kind praying for someone to separate them soon so it will be over.

Unfortunately, times have changed, and Hollywood has filled out the TV and movie theaters screens with more brutal and sophisticated "heroes" which brought all kind of tricks and weapons to the common fight. The killing of another human being went from and unspeakable crime to a justified action for the new "heroes"; and the respect for human life went down the drain for ever.

This miss understood concept of what is right and what is wrong has taken a lot of young lives straight to prison ruining their lives for ever. Still, thousands of viewers enjoy these movies and series as a family moment, quality time with the kids, and even encourage these Hollywood "roll models" purchasing all kind of objects based on these "heroes" from clothing and toys to more adult oriented items as knives and guns.

The meaner and more sarcastic the "hero" is, the more cool and popular. And there is always the little statement right before the enemy is killed like: "Bye, bye dirt back" or "Here is for my friend" or "Say hello to my little friend". The action keeps you glued on the sit and down in the bottom of your heart you want the bad guy to pay for what he did. But....are we sending the wrong message to our kids? Do we explain them after the movie that what the "hero" did was not exactly right, because killing someone, bad or good, is really a crime? Probably not!

Let's not confuse the enjoying a good "movie" with letting our kids think that hurting another human been is a "hero" thing.

Unfortunately, we have let this concept unexplained, uncensored, and today's prisons are full with their victims: our own children.

Not every kid has parents waiting for them at home when they come back from school. Life is being really tough for most of us. With both parents working all the time to make a living, the majority of kids even under 12 sometimes, (which by the way is illegal) get home and either go straight to the TV or to the violence based video games. With no parent's supervision, they are assimilating what those images are transmitting to their forming brains: Kill, hurt, destroy... for hours! Like a brain wash! Day by day, week by week our children are not only exposed to these violence but also convinced that killing, hurting and destroying is natural, just ...a game.

For some kids that are being bullied at school this is a way to drain all their frustrations but.. to what point is this really healthy, or useful for young minds, in the process of developping into a well centered adult? If all they breath around them is violence 24 hours and 7 days a week, without any other type of adult guidance, do you honestly believe they are going to grow up to be "peaceful" human beings? And if they do, all that violence they have been absorbing all their lives, is it going to just snap one day during a confrontation badly hurting someone?

"Every person or group can absorb a certain amount of violence before it overflows".

I found this article at http://www.memoryskills.com

"Some years ago, in an essay entitled ‘Kaleidoscope – the Art of Self-Deception’, that applied some ideas from modern Physics to our thinking and actions, I wrote the following:

The personal kaleidoscope, the individual mind, is the furnace where burn the fires that ignite our most emotive actions: creativity, love, compassion, cooperation, sharing. But also, there burn the fires that ignite murder, suicide, greed, violence, war, corporate takeovers, strikes, and litigation. They all originate in someone’s kaleidoscope, someone’s mind. Thought is the motivating force behind all action. While an action may appear spontaneous, it is always the result of a prior thought, conscious or subconscious. Young malleable minds, repeatedly viewing violence, or being indoctrinated with prejudice and hate, create a kaleidoscope that, when projected onto life, gives a distorted, and often anti-social way of seeing and dealing with difficulties. When faced with a problem, their pre-programmed kaleidoscope rotates until the pattern of a perceived solution takes shape – then they deal with it in the way they see as appropriate, but which is often socially inappropriate, even dangerous".

"The Community is Brain-washed to Violence’. It starts with a quote from Professor Leonard Eron, of the University of Illinois. Professor Eron and his associates did a 10-year study of boys and girls, following them through from the age of 9 to 19. ‘The more violent the programs watched in childhood, the more combative the young adults become.’

Violence on TV is one major contributing factor. Psychiatrist Frederic Wertham believed that TV is a uniquely effective ‘School for Violence’. Even the good people resort to violence to achieve their goals. Dominick & Greenberg (‘Attitudes towards Violence…’) found that the greater the exposure to TV violence, the more a child was willing to use violence, to suggest it as a solution to conflict, and perceive it as effective".

For those parents who do not have any other options, (after- school is a non affordable solution and both parents have to work). Here are some possible solutions you might want to take in consideration:

- It is never too late to start talking to your kids about violence and about what it is wrong and right. Use the parental controls on your TV and check the video games they are playing with, you would be amazed on the kind of violence that is permitted on the video games for kids.

- Although it will be very difficult, because your kids are already used to the video games, enforce the reading habit on them. Make a routine to go to the Library on Saturdays and teach them how much they can enjoy reading a book. The video games have spoiled the efforts of our schools to encourage our kids to read, because playing a video game is more "popular," easy and "cool". There are other interesting things to do than paying at the Movie Theater for your kids to be brainwashed! There are movies that are really worth your money, others are definitively not. Getting them involved in some kind of sports is always a great idea. Check you Police Athletic Association or the YMCA. And if the insist on video games remember: There are video games based on sports too!

- Teach them the consequences of violence ( without the fake glory of Hollywood): Take them to Hospitals, or request a tour by the local jail so then can see all those "heroes" deprived of their freedom. Law Enforcement officers, are always ready to cooperate with the parents that are really concerned about their kids' concepts about violence. We talk to the kids and explain them why it is so wrong to hurt someone and what happens to the people that does. Request a presentation at your kid's school through the Principal and your Local Law Enforcement agency. Make the teachers your best allied. After all, they are the ones that spend more time with your kids and are the ones that are more familiar with their behaviour patterns.

- Do not overlook the early signs of violent behavior in your children. Aggressive and disrespectful mannerisms should be detected and corrected on time. Some statements should be a warning sign too!: "Stop or I'll kill you" or "My hero is Rambo". This should ring more than one bell on every parent's hears.

- Being part of a church and including God in your lives is not a bad idea either. It doesn't matter what denomination! Teaching them what a conscience is and that there is a Supreme Been who is always watching over them, has saved many kids from trouble, as far as a remember.

- Make clear to them the concepts of what is wrong and what is right, do it before they grow up confused and helpless, trying to face a life that is getting more and more complicated each day!

Our kids are the future, what we do of them today will be the destiny of our world tomorrow!