My wife sent this to me from one of our friends. Ladies, I hope you enjoy.
Dear tech support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a > distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the > flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under > Boyfriend 5.0. > > > In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable > programs, such > as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then > installed > undesirable programs such as: > NBA 5.0, > NFL 3.0 and > Golf Clubs 4.1 > > > Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 > simply crashes > the system. > > > Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix > these problems, > but to no avail. > > > What can I do? > > > Signed, > Desperate. > > > > > > > DEAR DESPERATE, > > > First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment > Package, while > Husband 1.0 is an operating system. > > > Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to > download Tears > 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. > If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should > then > automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers > 3.5. > > > However, remember that overuse of the above application can > cause > Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour > 7.0 or Beer 6.1 > Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will > download the > Snoring Loudly Beta. > > > Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install > Mother-In-Law > 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually > seize > control of all your system resources.) > > > In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the > Boyfriend 5.0. These > are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. > > > In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does > have limited > memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might > consider > buying additional software to improve memory and > performance. We > recommend: > Cooking 3.0 and > Hot Lingerie 7.7 > > > Good Luck Babe! > > > Tech SupportI thought it a good way to start the weekend. JATFUR.Rich K
I guess this is one of those email items that gets changed to suit the sender.
Here's another version:
Tech Support for Husband 1.0
To: Tech Support
To whom it may concern,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software; severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4, and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!!!
Signed, Jane
Dear Jane:
This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6. I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!
Sincerely,
Tech Support